The Graduate

My son, Matt, graduated from North Carolina State University today. I am very proud of him. I think it is going to be fascinating to watch what God will do with him in the coming years.

But a graduation is a funny thing. It marks a point of change. Change in the circumstances of a particular life. Change in relationships. 


The change is not a bad thing ... but it can be uncomfortable, at least for a little while, because it means that someone is "moving on." And I am feeling that discomfort now. It is a strange feeling.


It is strange, perhaps because there is the mix of sadness for oneself and joy for the graduate ... very much like the mix of feelings I felt when my mother died last December. (It was not for nothing that I announced her death as a "graduation.")


I am so pleased for Matt and his lovely wife, Meghan. I think they have exciting times ahead, and Patsy and I will enjoy their excitements vicariously as we try to cheer them on their way. But more than ever before, we may have to watch from increasing distance.

We have intentionally been in a process of "turning loose" of Matt since he was an infant. He was never really "ours" anyway. We only had him on loan from God, even when he lived in our house, and even when we had to make most of his decisions for him. But we knew, even when his main choices were of the orange-juice-vs.-grape-juice variety, that we could never control his life, or his choices. At best, we could try to teach him that choices have consequences.

And we could try to point him back toward the God who made Him and who has cared for him and provided faithfully for him all these years.

When, after 10th grade, Matt went away to the NC School of Science and Math, I told Patsy that he would never again come back "home" the same way as before he left. It was so. Later, we moved him off to university. Then he was married. 

Now, Matt is a "graduate."

Change. I can't say that I really like it ... this "change" thing. Especially graduations.

At the same time, I would not stop such change if I could! Anything — anyone — who is not changing is dead! And if those we love do not change, that would be tragedy.

So I accept Matt's change of status with joy. A joy mixed with some discomfort, but nevertheless, joy.


And I will continue to delight in my son's successes.


I expect Matt to know more, to see further, to do more, than I have. He should, because as I have come through life "standing on my father's shoulders," so Matt stands on mine.


What a privilege I have, even if it is sometimes uncomfortable!


Go, Matt!